Don't Deny Your Age, Defy It!
at her 50th birthday party
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Kathy - 49 year old marathon runnerDear D - I don't have all the answers, but most of the time I know where to find them!
Male 52: My wife is turning 50 in six months. No matter how much I tell her how beautiful she looks for her age, she refutes it, then tells me I don‘t under stand. She is such a great person, but this whole aging thing is making her depressed. I am not sure what to do for her anymore. Help!
Dear Hiking Boots: I think it is wonderful you want to help her through this transition, and believe me, having just gone through it myself, I can tell you with certainty, it can be major. Here are a few helpful hints I can offer you: First, understand that you don‘t understand! Actually admit to her that you have no idea what it is like to be a woman; to be judged your entire life on what you look like; to be in a category called “menopausal”; and finally, to know for sure that everything you see in the mirror now that you don‘t like, is probably going to get worse. Believe it or not, that is how someone thinks when they are on the dark side of aging. Second, instead of telling her how good she looks for her age, tell her how incredible she is now and how you view her as more beautiful than ever. Human beings like to know that if they have worked hard, at least they have something to show for it. She might have a few wrinkles to delineate the years, but she has become a force in her own right. She no longer has to answer to the beauty call. Now is her time to relish in her accomplishments as a woman, a mother, a wife, and all else that encompasses her life. Third, ask her specifically what she doesn‘t like about aging. Is it the way she looks? Help her to figure out what would make her happy. Skincare helped me tremendously. Happy, healthy, youthful skin looking at you in the mirror in the morning is a great start to a new day. Is it her weight? Help her exercise it off with fun stuff you can do as a couple. Is it her career? Education? You get my drift here. Help her write her goals so she can go into this new decade with purpose and conviction, and let her know, she is as young as she allows herself to be! 
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